I Was My Hair

“Ohhhh your hair is so pretty!”

“I wish I had your texture/curl pattern!”

“How’d you get yours like that?”

…Questions I get asked A LOT about my natural hair. At almost 2 years post “big chop”, I still don’t have all the answers and I have yet to perfect my regimen like these YouTube gurus. I’ve only been able to do what my schedule and pockets allow. Just a day ago, my hair was touching the middle of my back…straightened that is. And I still had this faded red color from LAST YEAR. Everyone knows a natural’s worse nightmare is 1) Heat damage and 2) Color damage.

But this post isn’t just about my hair…

See, people would always compliment my hair on the curls or the length and I’d always say, “thank you” but in my head I’d say, “…but it’s damaged.”

I WAS my hair.

Pretty. Nice. Always smiling and laughing. Encouraging. Working hard. Loving. A good friend. A good mom. Bomb girlfriend.

But DAMAGED.

I can honestly say in the beginning, I rushed the whole natural process of my hair because I was insecure with my short fro. I couldn’t WAIT to straighten it for the first time and that red would look amazing on my coils…WRONG.

That’s how I was with my life and you’d think I’d be more careful. I rushed everything. I rushed love. I rushed my growing process. I rushed moves I had to make in order to provide. I accepted things and people that really had no place in my life. I held on to relationships that meant me no good. I held on to my past mistakes. I held on to my damaged ends.

But GOD.

God LET me hang on. It had to hurt like HELL so I had no choice but to let go. And I did. I moved. I deleted. I blocked. I forgave. I dealt. I healed. I mended. I chopped.

I got to the point where it was necessary that I do things the way God intended in the beginning. He gave me the gift of redemption and repentance and I accepted it immediately. I was given a clean slate and I’ve taken full advantage. I no longer am ashamed to face my faults or my short fro. I show my scars and I tell my stories. I walk with God in my singleness and I’m no longer desperate for affection or love. Two days ago, when I trimmed my hair, I sighed in relief. I felt good and I felt in control. That’s one thing about God, when you let HIM steer and maintain speed, He’ll let you hold the wheel too.

The loose, almost non-existent curl  and red dye are also a reminder of what the last year has been like for me so it was only right that I get rid of it. It held memories. Though the color isn’t completely gone, I’ve vowed to take care of my hair and myself more delicately. I told myself I would stick with what I know and keep my hands out AND off as much as possible. (Some low manipulation, if you will). Because though the process may be long and tedious, I know the outcome will be beautiful inside and out.

I challenge you to do the same if you haven’t already. Give you life to God and give him control. Allow Him to help you with those dead ends you’ve encountered. Submit to His will and turn from your old ways. Jesus died for this. He died for You. You don’t have to stay damaged.

WITH LOVE.

What’s the Hold Up?

“What’s the Hold Up?”

“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 4:6-7, NKJV

 

…I know, I know. I did not post at all last week. I let the spirit of writer’s block and anxiousness get the best of me. But this week, I’m ready to share a few things about just that; being anxious and waiting on God.

Now, let’s cut to the chase because as a Christian woman, most correlate “the wait” with waiting on a mate/marriage. Well, let me be one of the first to tell you, that’s not actually at the top of my list of things (anymore) but it is a close second. Marriage is only one of the many things I’m waiting on God to do in my life. But no matter what it is, I’m still in fact, WAITING.

No matter what it is that you want God to do in YOUR life, there will always be a period of waiting because contrary to certain beliefs, God is not a magician. So, the question is, “what do you do while you’re waiting?”

  • Pray – praying is number one for a reason. If you keep a healthy prayer life, God can reveal a multitude of things to do about what you’re waiting for, whether it be a job, a man or a move. Also, while you pray, you may realize the thing you’re seeking God for isn’t as much of a necessity as you thought or that you’re not quite ready for it. Simple example: while praying for a husband, God reveals that you are still bitter about and attached to certain aspects of your previous relationship. (Ouch!) While it may hurt, it’s better to get to the root of things. It’s all part of the preparation for greater. Which leads us to #2…
  • Preparation – how do you prepare for a new job? You can change your wardrobe to fit the dress code of said job, you can update your resume, do volunteer work in your field… Whatever it is that you’re asking God for, there must be some type of preparation. Preparation lets God know how serious you are about your prayers and lets Him know that you will do YOUR part and not be a sitting duck. Soon, the preparation becomes your way of life and before you know it, you’re ready and that blessing is on its way!
  • Pre-victory – okay, I made this up so let me explain (lol). There’s a saying you’ll hear in church A LOT from the old folks, “Don’t wait until the battle is over, SHOUT NOW!” So, listen, let’s break this down to simpler terms. Basically, I believe that you should thank and praise God everyday as if He’s already done the things you’ve asked Him for. Live your life with thanksgiving daily before AND after you’ve been blessed. Be happy whether He gives you what you want or gives you what you NEED instead. One thing’s for sure, your lack of praise and thanks to God will not stop His show but be careful. If you’re only smiling and happy when things are going your way, you’ll never fully experience the glory of God and his everlasting love for you.

These three points are the basics of what I’ve found useful in my time of waiting. Life is way less stressful when you allow God to do His work. In waiting for a husband, I’ve realized that I could still be in toxic relationships right now if I had grown impatient with God and probably would’ve married one of those jokers out of loneliness. Instead, I’ve vowed to be single, abstinent and the best mother I know how to be until he sends my help-meet. Also staying busy with work and ministry is a huge plus. It gets hard and yes, every so often I get lonely but that’s because I’m human, not desperate. While waiting on a better paying job, I’m making the most of the one I have now. I go to work with a positive attitude and manage my money to the best of my abilities so that when I see increase, I know how to handle it and not splurge.

All in all, I know waiting is hard for everybody but just trust God with his plans for your life. He created you so He knows what’s best for you. Just like how your parents wouldn’t let you go certain places with certain friends… they just KNEW and never told you. I thank them and God for that type of protection. Learn to stay out of your own way sometimes. If I can admit how hardheaded I have been, I know a lot more of us can too. Hard head makes for a soft bottom, right? Only with God, He may let you fall to learn your lesson, but He’ll pick you right back up and give another (and another) chance.

Be anxious, for WHAT? NOTHING.

 

LOVE,

G.

 

Hidden With an Agenda

Good evening, ladies! Tonight I want to share a little encouragement to those who may feel lonely. I’m sure all of you have had the struggle of feeling like you have nobody. When you look to your right and left, you realize you stand alone. Have you ever felt like the OUT of an inside joke? Alone in a crowd? It’s tough. I’m here to tell you that you are NEVER alone with God in your life. Though He’s not a physical being, I promise that He has your back. Fun fact: You CAN talk to God and He WILL hear you.

Here’s what I’ve realized:

God will put you in a place of loneliness and seclusion for a number of reasons. Some reasons you may not understand but know that He has His own agenda. One reason may be that you depend more on people than God. Did you know that God gets jealous? Crazy, right? It’s something about running to your friends about your problems instead of Him that drives him crazy…

When it seems like those friends are no longer around to hear you vent or tell you whether or not to leave that man alone (leave him alone, sis), just picture a child raising their hand, dying to be picked on because they KNOW the answer to the problem on the board. “Pick me! Pick me! Nobody else is raising their hand but ME!” That’s God with us. He has all the answers but He can’t reveal them to us because we won’t “call on” Him.

Another reason is that He may be trying to take you to a new level. This level could be financial, spiritual, etc. Only thing is, in that new level, everyone won’t understand what’s happening and some will even get jealous.

——- Sidebar: Don’t ever apologize for being blessed! ———-

Seclusion will allow you to see firsthand, who will congratulate you and who won’t. Who will recognize and accept your growth and those who will try to make you revert back to your old ways. If you don’t have spiritual friends who believe in God, get you some! We are always happy to see others happy. I can be your biggest cheerleader! For those that don’t understand, that’s okay. That doesn’t necessarily make them haters. However those side-eyers, lip smackers and mouth runners…nah.

One of the last reasons deals with your confidence. When’s the last time you took yourself to dinner or the movies? Why was that the last time? Can you go to the gym or mall by yourself? Do you think certain activities require a companion or a boo? Do you get anxiety when you go places alone? I’ve learned on this long and somewhat tedious journey of being single, that I can really entertain myself and having a hand to hold doesn’t make the movies more enjoyable. In fact, its better solo because who wants to have their fingers cramped up for 2 hours? (I don’t, my hands sweat anyway). While I do want to be in a relationship and eventually married, I’m in a place where I don’t need a man to go on a date. I don’t need a warm body next to me at night. If I did, I’d use my child. And I promise with his wild sleeping, I don’t want it that bad. When you love yourself, you take care of yourself. When you take care of yourself, you love yourself. Simple as that.

God will send you the right people that you can trust and talk to but always remember to guard your heart. People can use what you tell them secretly to destroy you publicly. Use your good judgement and discernment. I pray that from this moment on that you give God the opportunity to be your first option, not your last.

 

Until next time…

 

My Prayer

WELCOME Ladies (and gents) to my blog page, “You Glow, girl!” First let me start by saying thank you in advance for taking time to read. Here’s the scoop. GLOW stands for Girls Lighting Our World. I believe God wants me to do a lot with this name so the blog is a start and amazing things are to follow. The scripture that coincides (Matthew 5:16) further explains part of my focus here and goal as a person. According to the layout of these things, your first post is supposed to express the reasons why you created the blog and who it’s geared toward. I figured that here would be a good place to share my prayer for what God has laid on my heart:

Dear Heavenly Father, I come to you as humbled as I know how, thanking you for giving me the courage and the boldness to share GLOW with the world. I pray that ANY lady or girl that comes across/reads my posts is blessed, inspired, strengthened, enlightened, and encouraged through the words that you allow me to share. I pray that this is only the beginning and that wherever you lead, I follow. I pray against any and every attack of the enemy for he has no place here or in our lives. Thank you in advance for any healing of broken hearts, mending of relationships, strength to live, saving of souls and renewing of minds that may occur through this blog. Let us GLOW and GROW in you, daily. Allow me to be an open book. Cover me and keep me with your grace. Let my work not be in vain but, pleasing in your sight. Thank you for continuously giving me the chance to be a light and salt of the Earth, even through my mishaps and missteps in life. You are the God of second chances and I’m forever grateful. I praise you now and forever because I know that YOU are in control!

Love,

Your Daughter ❤

I’ll say this more than once. I love you ALL! LETS GLOW!